{ American Dream }

Tightly regimented hours of self-indulgence,

Mixed with pixilated chronologies

Of minute minutes

Seasoned with generous helpings

Of absent todays

Spent mapping out tomorrows:

That is who I am.

Wispy plans for years to come

Pervade the murky sidewalks

Of my memory lane

While I sprint towards the distant intersection

Of wanton excess.

But I never seem to reach the elusive goal that is

My future,

Because--

For some reason--

It is always

Now.

But Now is not a currency I am used to dealing with:

I am not content with the moments on my doorstep--

Cannot focus on the seconds surrounding my body--

Unable to grasp what it means to live in the here--

To live

In the Now.

Rather,

My eyes are fixed on that fluorescent light--

The one at the end of my tunnel--

Where I will burst into the paparazzi-filled arena

And experience the comfortable victory

Of the realization

Of my plans.

I can feel the pulse in my body beating to the rhythm of instant

Gratification--

Of permanent

Relaxation--

Or everlasting ease in an economy

Fixated on me,

Me only,

And me always.

And so I will strive

For a prize I know I can easily attain--

An empty victory coated in caramelized commercialism--

A bucket of disappointment at the end of

My credit card

Rainbow.

And when I have done all that--

When I have wedged myself into this

Confining

World of self-indulgence,

When I have given up on the life I thought I wanted,

When I have shredded all the blank checks

I used to write my future,

And when I have set fire to the 401K

I thought was worth having--

I know

You will not forget me.

I know

You will still be waiting.

And I know

You will still

Love me.

Because that is who

You are:

A cleansing breath of the Majestic

Amid the all-consuming narcissism

Of my American Dream.